The divorce process will be one of the hardest times of your life, but it instantly becomes a lot harder when kids are involved. Coming up with a custody agreement and child support payments may be a long process, but the toughest part of the entire thing might just be breaking the news of the divorce to the children. These are the four things you can do when telling your kids about your upcoming divorce.
Do It Together
You may not plan on staying married, but you will still have to work together as parents for the rest of your life. This is a monumental change in the lives of your children, so they must know they are not going to lose a parent. Breaking the news together is your first chance to show them you will be able to coexist as a divorced couple.
Plan the Speech
You kids will remember this moment for the rest of their lives, so you need to take it seriously. The only way you can guarantee that your feelings are expressed in the correct manner is by planning the speech ahead of time. While you absolutely should plan out is your talking points ahead of time, you do not want the speech to come off as robotic. Make sure everything you are saying is coming from the heart.
Let Them React
Every child is going to react to divorce news differently, so there is no way to plan for their response. All you need to do is let them express their emotion and respond in an appropriate manner. Comfort and hug the kids if they start to cry. If they get upset and storm out of the room, then you should let them get out their feelings before moving forward. Refusing to let your kids express their emotions during this difficult time is just going to damage your relationship.
Answer All Questions
Your kids will likely have a lot of questions once the initial shock of the divorce news has worn off. Take the time to honestly answer all of their questions. Attempting to spare their feelings by avoiding tough questions is just going to cause more troubles in the future. Once the kids ask their questions and realize that the divorce is going to help you become a happier person, then they will be able to accept the entire process.
Need legal counsel for your upcoming divorce? Our Long Island divorce attorneys are here to help. Contact us online or call (516) 858-2648 today to get in touch with The Virdone Law Firm, P.C.